- (no subject)
- April 2nd, 2008
I'm highly looking forward to the summer. No classes, working twice a week, and I'll be able to do things I haven't been able to do. See people, read books, play the piano and guitar, and spend time with my family. I had to register for fall classes already. But I'm really happy because me, Kriss, and Nikki are taking a class together. We've been so inseperable this semester and I feel like I have a really good connection with them. I've known Kriss since the days of Hasbro Hospital and we were inseperable back then. We were more like twins and now we were reunited this semester...we had the exact same schedule. Weird how it worked but I think it happened for a reason. She knows more about me than a lot of other people and I think we feed off of each other's strength. With Nikki, it's a weird story too. I actually had two classes with Nikki the previous semester and we never sat near each other or talked. I just recognized that she was in both of my classes. Come to find out that Nikki is Kriss' cousin! So now we have all been inseperable and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I defnitely feel like I have grown a lot in a short period of time. I honestly feel like I'm in that transition stage (I know, it's very cliche). But I don't feel like a child/teenager anymore and I don't feel like an adult. I'm just starting to figure out more about myself and who I am as a person. It's kind of scary but at the same time it's really exciting. Perhaps that's why I feel like I'm flying off the handle with my emotions lately. One minute I'm happy and smiling, the next minute I'm crying and having a terrible day. I think it just has to do with the time period in my life but it can get so frustrating at times.
My friend (who is also named Nikki), who has cystic fibrosis, is doing incredible since her double lung transplant about two weeks ago. Again, we met in Hasbro but we instantly connected. I remember the days when we used to talk about the day when she would eventually get a lung transplant. It's weird to think that day has already come. I really respect and admire this girl. We shared a lot together and she really gave me inspiration and strength to make me into who I am today. So for her to get a new chance at living her life, I couldn't ask for anything more. She is still going to have the disease, but at least she won't be suffering with major breathing problems.
I know that going to the hospital for months really shaped me into who I am today. I just turned 16 and was visiting Nikki during her breathing treatments, talking about sensitive issues like eating disorders, rape, and drugs in group therapy, and attending chemotheraphy and radiation treatments with a boy who had cancer because I couldn't bear the thought of him to be alone. Or anyone to ever feel alone in that program without a friend. I grew up in such a short amount of time for a teenager who barely was 16. I did miss out on 10th and 11th grade and every other aspect that comes along with being a teenager. But I don't think I would have changed it for the world.
Anyways, I'm probably just rambling.
And I should be studying for my chemistry exam on Friday. But it's been such an exhausting week and I just needed a little break. I'm preparing myself for a grade lower than 90 on my physiology exam because I made stupid dyslexic mistakes. It drives me crazy. It's been affecting me a lot lately and I feel so stupid most of the time. I am really striving for another 4.00 this semester, but I know that is going to be extremely hard. As of midterms, I had an A in Mothering, an A in Physiology, and a B+ in Chemistry only because I got five points taken off for my exam due to the stupidest thing. It's so stupid and I don't even feel like writing about it. But let's just say it had to do with a snowstorm that day and being late two minutes to class. Extremely still upset about that situation.
Well, I guess that's enough procrastinating.